5 workouts left!

I really need to post here more often. I've actually posted on my board at Sparkpeople.com, but this one is just for me. I re-read my last post and a lot has happened since then.

First- shoes. What a saga that was. I tried the second pair out again and actually did fine with them and decided to keep them. I was feeling a little pressure from my DH (not intentional on his part), because the owner of the running store spent so much time with me. I figured they'd be fine. Well, I was wrong. The first time I took them on the road for a 4 mile run I got horrible shin splints on the opposite side of my leg that I usually do. It's the same type of pain I used to have when I started running. I went back to the store (on the owners day off- chicken!) and got the new version of my old shoes- Nike Structure Triax. I'm happy to report they are great. All shin pain is gone and I've had two long runs that went well. It sure is good to be beyone that.

I'm feeling pretty good about where I am right now. I'm really going to work on strengthing myself mentally. I've realized that's where I really struggle. I know I have my limits physically, but I feel like I don't even let myself get there because I psych myself out. I remember in field hockey we used to do this mental visualization which I thought was pretty silly at the time, but I'm going to try it now. If I can see myself finishing my race strong I know it will go a long way to getting myself to believe I can do it.

My last 5 workouts: Wed- 8 mile run- 6 miles at an 8:28 pace
Thurs- 2 miles at a 9:45 pace
Saturday- 11 miles at a 9:45 pace
Monday- 2 miles very easy
Wednesday- 5 miles- 3 at 8:30 pace
We leave for Floriday early Thursday morning and I'll probably go for a short slow run on Friday morning just to get used to the heat and stretch out my legs after a very long car ride.

Fear/Doubt

What a difference a week (or so) makes. In my last post I was flying high from my successful speed workout. I wish I was still in that place. Right now I'd have to admit I'm full of fear and self-doubt. What has happened since then? a lot and a little.

I'm having issues with my calves again. It was manageable and I was stretching them regularly. I went to get new shoes last week and decided to ask if I should consider a new brand. I've been thinking about this for a while. It just doesn't make sense that all of a sudden the shoes aren't working for me. I've worn the same brand for over 6 years. I talked to the owner for a long time and he gave me two different shoes to try out- a more stabil pair and a cushoning pair. I learned right away the cushoning pair is not what I need- and really hurt my legs in the process. The stability pair was great- except that something about them makes my toes rub together. By the end of my 4.5 mile run my toes were bleeding. So... I'm back at where I started. Do I get new shoes or just stick with my old brand?? I'm going back in on Tuesday to make that decision. I wouldn't be so stressed, but my half marathon is 4 weeks from today. I don't want to be messing with my legs when I'm staring down 10 and 11 mile long runs on the weekends.

Speaking of long runs- I'm very much doubting my goal of running an 8:40 pace for my half marathon. I'm averaging about a 9:40 pace on my long runs. I'm not exactly killing myself and I'm running a very hilly course, but I can't imagine running that much faster. I've got to try really hard not to let my mind control my body here. I don't want to psych myself out of it before I even start! I've got 14 workouts left and I'm going to try my hardest to focus on my goal.

I won!

I think my excitement for speed work yesterday was a tad premature. I was excited to push myself, but I forgot how hard it was going to be. Man, was it hard! I ran 7 miles total with 5 miles at a 8:27 pace. The first three speed miles were okay, but the last mile and a half was brutal! I had a really huge battle with my mind and body which were both telling me to stop. I really doubted whether I could do it. I kept having this conversation with myself telling myself that I needed to do it. If I stopped short of my goal I would doubt myself and be mad at myself. The last 1/4 miles was torture but.... I did it!

I felt so great when I finished. Well, actually, I felt horrible. I had a mile recovery and I had to walk the first few minutes. Let me change that. After I recovered, I felt awesome. I did it! I didn't give into my doubts or my body and I finished my speed work.

Now I'm ready for a nap.

looking forward to speedwork

I know this sounds crazy... it is crazy. I can't help it though. I'm looking forward to my speedwork workout tomorrow. I've dreaded them during this whole training program-and tomorrow I'm not. Why you ask? I'm not exactly sure, but it seems my attitude to training has changed somehow. Part of it is the previously explained Biggest Loser insight to how your mind controls your body. Part of it is the fact that my husband has been out of town this week and I've missed 2 workouts.

I feel like I can do so much more than I give myself credit for. I limit myself so much by my thoughts (there's deeper spiritual insight there). I'm not a super confident person, but I feel like it's time to change that when it comes to running. I want to run a 1:53 half marathon. Who's to say I can't? If I want to do it- I can!

Tomorrow I'm supposed to run 7 miles- 5 at an 8:29 pace. I don't think I can do it- I know I can... and I'm going to!

kudos to Bob and Jillian

Okay, a shout out to The Biggest Loser.... again. I am obsessed with that show. There are so many good things that come out of seeing people transform their lives. This season is SO much better then the last. Everyone gets along and is positive. It's great to watch. So, why did I pick the title of my blog?

A few weeks ago, Bob was struggling to get someone on his team to run for 30 seconds on the treadmill without stopping. He was so frustrated because everytime she got 10 seconds away she would stop. I've never seen Bob lose it like he did. Of course, Jillian and her team were watching. The woman eventually did it but Jillian made a comment that just stuck with me. She said the woman didn't believe in her mind that she could do it, so she couldn't. The next day on her weekly show recap she quesioned "What is your mind telling you that you can't do?"

I've really been thinking about how our minds are so powerful. What am I not doing because I think in my mind I can't? Relating to running- do I just think I can't run faster because I'm afraid to- or my mind is telling me I can't? I'm challenged to try to work past this. I've had a few hard workouts this week and everytime I'm tempted to stop because I think it's getting too hard; I fight my thoughts. It's really worked so far and I'm excited to see what happens. I've always known the mind is a powerful thing and that so many athletes use sports psychologists and I'm starting to understand the mind/performance connection a little better.

That's why it's called speedWORK!

Whew! I did my speedwork workout this morning. I only got in 7 miles out of the 8 I was supposed to do because my husband had to leave early to go on a business trip. But let me tell you, I worked harder in those 7 miles than I thought possible. The end result: I was soaked and exhaused, but more encouraged than I've ever been.

Here's how the workout went: (I'm doing this more for my own purpose so I can look back on it and rmember what I did and actually see it really happened.) I warmed up for a mile at a 9:23 pace. I was really unsure if I could run a mile at a 7:51 pace and decided to work myself up to it. Speed mile #1 at 8:13 pace. I felt pretty good and did a 1/2 mile recovery. Speed mile #2 started at an 8:06 pace and I decided to run the last 1/4 mile at a 8 min pace. Again, I was pretty tired and took my recovery 1/2 mile at a 9:30 pace. I decided that I could run a mile at an 8 mile pace. Speed mile #3 started at an 8 mile pace and I ran the last maybe 1/8 of a mile at a 7:53 pace. Okay, when I was done, I thought I might fall off the treadmill. I even slowed it down to a walk for a few minutes. After speeding back up to a run I had a little conversation (more like battle) with myself. I knew I was running out of time and was temped to just jog the last mile of my workout and stop at 6.5 miles. I also know I'm obsessive about my workouts and would feel like I failed if I didn't do the whole speed session. So, speed mile #4 looked like this: first 1/4 at 8:24, second 1/4 at 8:13, third 1/4 mile at 8:06 and last 1/4 mile at 8:00. I finished with a 1/2 mile recovery.

No, I didn't do 4 miles at a 7:51 pace, but I ran faster than I ever have. I actually ran a whole mile at lower than an 8 minute mile. More importantly, I pushed myself to places I've never been. I battled my mind, and I won. I didn't give up when things got tough and pushed myself harder than I thought I could.

another one bites the dust

I made it through my treadmill workout! I'm so psyched. It was one of the hardest workouts I've ever done- and I was sore the next day. I tried not to be intimidated by the 8:28 pace I was supposed to keep over 5 miles. I started out at a 8:40 pace and kept increasing my speed each mile. I ended at an 8:27 pace. I didn't exactly do what I was supposed to, but I was happy with the effort.

Today's challenge was a 9 mile run. I was dreading it, but it too was good. My pace was 9:50 per mile and my goal was 9:51. Perfect. BTW- these aren't just random time goals. I'm following a half marathon training program from Runner's World. Each day has a distance to run and a pace to run it at. My next run is a slow 2 mile run. However, on Wednesday I have a 8 mile speedwork workout. 4x1600 at a 7:51 pace (ha, ha) with 800 jogs in between. Go luck to me!

I am getting excited though. 7 weeks from today I'll be running my half marathon. I'm encouraged by today's run.