My thoughts on success

I posted this on my blog on sparkpeople.com on March 17th. Thought I'd put it here too- just so I can remind myself about the thoughts that were going through my head.

I can't believe it's been over a week since the race. I just got back from Florida on Sunday and am trying to get back into my routine. It hasn't been easy. My whole family has battled the flu these last few weeks (including my daughter throwing up in the car at 3am on the drive to FL!). So, even though Florida was our vacation- it wasn't the best we've ever had.

I have so many thoughts about the whole race experience and like others, feel like I could write a book. This was my first half and I have to say the most emotionally draining race I've done. When it was all said and done, the biggest thing I learned was how running is so mental. I've always know that, but never struggled with it quite so much before.

I was feeling great about the race until a week before when I injured my calf. I had set some lofty goals for myself and was really planning on pushing myself. I had to throw those goals out the window when I got hurt. This is where the mental battle began. "Would I still be successful if I didn't meet my goal"? As I got closer to the race and my calf didn't feel better my thoughts turned into "would I be a failure if I didn't finish"? I have another blog and the quote at the top of the page is by John Bingham: "The miracle isn't that I finished, it's that I had the courage to start." I love that quote, but I've never really thought too deeply about it. In the weeks before the race there were several of us struggling and this quote stayed with me.

I sent a lot of time thinking about what defines success. After some soul searching I realized that I don't agree with the Webster dictionary definition which is a "favorable or desired outcome". Well, my desired outcome was that I finish in a certain amount of time. Was I a failure if that didn't happen? I don't think so.

Here's what I think about success: It doesn't matter what time I finish in or if I walk or even if I finish at all. Not that I don't think you shouldn't set goals for yourself- it's what motivates me to push myself and define my limits. But what really matters is the that I try my hardest with whatever I have on that day. I am successful because I tried to do something that stretched me. I set a goal and trained for it and pushed myself. I got off the couch and committed to making my life healthier.

The success is in the process; it's in the trying; it's in having the courage to start.